If you blame someone, you give away your freedom and power to act.

It’s easy to blame someone for your misfortunes. That nasty ex who broke your heart. That evil boss who failed to promote you. The weather, the market, your upbringing, politicians.

(Okay, maybe politicians are to blame. But that’s beside the point.)

If only they had been more X or less Y, you would have been in a much better place. And then you get angry or sad and take it out on others by blaming them.

To be fair, what other people do or say has an impact on us. And sometimes that impact is annoying, hurtful or downright damaging.

However, how we respond to and feel about that misfortune is our own responsibility. And by blaming others, we hand over our power to others.

As long as you blame, you will remain a victim of circumstance and never achieve freedom of feeling, thought and action.

So next time you feel the need to blame, take a breath. Tell the other – when appropriate – that what they did or said hurt you or was unacceptable. Then, go and take care of yourself. Figure out what you need to do for yourself to regain your strength.

Ilja van Roon

P.S. Contact me if you want to find a way to stop blaming others or consider treating yourself to a half-day Free Exploration.