Family life can be hectic. Parents with demanding careers. Children with busy schedules. Family trips. Household chores. Shopping.

It is easy for parenting to turn into project management. And for communication to revolve around tasks and deadlines.

“Did you do your homework?”

“Put on some clean clothes!”

“Didn’t I tell you to be back at 5?”

“When are you going to clean up your room?”

In their quest to juggle the demands of career, parenting and their relationship, parents should not forget to tell their children the things that matter most.

Here is 15 things you might want to tell your child, for example next time you tuck them in for the night:

  1. I love you, just the way you are.
  2. I am grateful you are in my life.
  3. You are good.
  4. You have something to contribute.
  5. I will protect you, no matter what.
  6. You are beautiful.
  7. You are smart.
  8. You are wise.
  9. It’s okay to feel what you feel.
  10. Ask for whatever you want, need and desire.
  11. You are worthy.
  12. What you think or feel is important to me.
  13. It’s okay to make mistakes.
  14. I am proud of you.
  15. It’s okay to be angry with me

Notice how they respond to those messages. Probably you will find that it touches them deeply (far deeper than a message about tidiness or homework) and positively. They may feel more connected, loved and understood.

And quite possibly, you may feel more deeply connected, too. Because it’s the kind of message that cuts to the core of what we feel and want for our children.

Ilja van Roon

P.S. There is a related blog that deals with a new generation of fathers that is rising, and one about the pain of absent fathers. Check them out!